Nanda comes into the front room, holding the dirty towel he used to clean the bathroom. He points at the basket of towels that I am folding.
NANDA: Are those clean?
ME (looking at the towel I am currently folding): What do you think?
NANDA: Well, I don't know, I was just asking...
ME: Try this out next time you have a question: actually observe your surroundings and try to answer it yourself, and maybe you don't get so many pissy, sarcastic comebacks.
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Maybe I'm an asshole, but seriously, kid?
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You are his Mr. Myagi. You should impart these pearls of wisdom with a faux oriental accent. Say it like: "The grasshopper who watches the grass does not jump in the swamp."
ReplyDeleteThere's gotta be some pretentiousness to it, otherwise they won't realize they're learning anything.
Did I mention that it's not likely I'll ever have kids?