Always Behave as if Somebody Is Watching

This morning, I sat up in bed alone, probably belched or farted, reached to get my sweat-pants, and clumsily put them on. I then decided to roll toward the end corner of the bed, put my hands on the floor and sort of scrabble myself to a standing position. It was a very awkward and lazy way to get oneself out of bed. The first thing I saw was Jill looking at me with an amused half-smirk.

ME: "Oh! I didn't know you were there."

JILL: "Yes, I've been sitting here the whole time."

ME: "If I'd known that, I probably wouldn't have gotten out of bed all retarded."

Let this be a lesson to you all. You never know who's watching, or how stupid you look to them.

BE EVER VIGILANT.