GUEST BLOGGER: Eat Something, Odette

So, Odette Yustman, peoples! She is an attractive young woman, yes? Sure she is. Just because you're in terrible movies, it doesn't make you ugly all of a sudden (right, Jessica Alba?).

But here's the deal with this "actress" (I've yet to see her actually act, so the quote marks remain until she plays somebody with an accent, or a retard): she needs not to be so afraid of eating. There's lots of delicious food in the world, Odette: YOU SHOULD TRY SOME OF IT. I don't even need to eat, and I indulge as often as possible. (My favorite is a Philly cheese-steak sandwich served on the abdomen of a Filipina girl who may or not be past the age of consent: I didn't check her ID.)

There are a couple of scenes in The Unborn where she's walking around in her underwear, and, I swear to Asimov, it's not even particularly hot. This is me speaking: BLOGTRONIC, lover of female ass, and I'm telling you, that chick is so skinny it was like watching your little brother wander around in his undies (which I hope is something that you do not consider erotic: incest is only sexy when it involves first cousins or twin sisters).


Understand, I like slender women, just not the ones built like Schindler's List extras. I don't fancy sticking my multiple pleasure attachments into a pillowcase filled with wet kindling. That's just me, that's what I prefer.

So, my suggestion to you, Ms. Odette Yustman, is this: eat a fucking meal sometime and don't throw it up afterwards. Put a little meat in that ass (by which I mean fat, not somebody's dick). Give us something to hold onto besides your ribs.

All that said, if you want to ride my Tesla coil some time, I wouldn't say no. I would just complain about it afterwards in my blog: don't worry, I would disguise your name as "Modette Houstman" because I'm a goddamn gentleman.

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