TEXT CHAT: Eagle

As Jill's son safely returned home from a long walk.

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JILL: The eagle has landed.

ME: Nanda went to the moon?

CHAT: Nerd

Jill: Who misses me?

me: Um, both of us?

Jill: There wasn't any jumping up and down with your hand raised?

me: Would you like me to? What time are you thinking of getting home?

Jill: I don't know. Now that I know I'm not missed does it matter?

me: I just said we both missed you, nerd.

Jill: You're the nerd

me: Your a super-nerd with extra special nerd-powers.

Jill: You're a nerd dunked in special nerd sauce.

me: You're a nerd combo meal that's been nerd-sized for 39 cents extra.

Jill: You're a nerd platter with free nerd fries because they dropped them on the floor.

me: Extra-spicy nerd taco with blazing nerd sauce.

Jill: Mocha nerd with a twist of nerd and an extra shot of concentrate nerd.

me: You're a jello nerd shot sucked off of Bill Gates' abdomen.

Jill: HAWT!

CHAT: Need Food

Jill: Need food.

me: Does the elf need food badly?

Run around until you find a plate of food on the ground and gobble it down in between shooting ghosts.

That's my advice.