7-11 II: The Oldening

Today we drove by 7-11 to purchase a Slurpee for Jill. I had already been by earlier in the day with her son to buy drinks. So, this was the second time I had seen the Arabic girl who works the counter, who, yes, I have a bit of a crush on. You would too: she's very cute. Anyway, I made a big show of announcing that I was buying a Slurpee for Jill, and that I had bought a drink earlier for her son, making me the clear Sugar Daddy of the group.

Haha, I was just joking around, but I think my totally unnecessary announcement that Jill and I were a couple was some sort of weird guilt reaction to thinking the 7-11 girl was cute, which is so unlike me. I think girls are cute all the time. Big deal: Jill thinks guys are cute, too. It's part of being human.

It was another sign that I am turning into an Old Man. As if it weren't enough that I wake up with mysterious pains in my body after doing NOTHING all night long, it now seems that I will freak out and act weird whenever I'm in the presence of an attractive young woman. Woo!

If I could just hurry up and be 50, I'd be comfortable with all of this shit. Men in their 50's are expected to complain of odd pains and flirt with girls inappropriately in front of their wives/girlfriends.

Man, the 40's are going to be a long haul.

These Are the Things in My Neighborhood, in My Neighborhood

I semi-frequently go to the 7-11 a few blocks away to purchase beverages, and when I don't have the car, I walk. It's a nice walk, but occasionally it can be a bit arduous, such as when it's crazy hot, which was the case today.

The great thing about this walk is that something interesting is guaranteed to be seen or experienced on the way. You have your things that you see every time: the neighbors with the Western-themed home they have christened "The Bunkhouse", the out-of-control shrubbery that causes you to leave the sidewalk to get around it, the same pets and old people puttering in their yards. That stuff's all great, naturally, but what's really exciting are the things you have never noticed before, or that exist for only that walk.

Things like:

• The old dog laying on the front porch, not moving an inch or apparently even breathing. I saw it both coming and going, and the second time it still hadn't moved a muscle, leading me to the conclusion that it is actually a dead stuffed dog, because even when dogs get old, they still look at people. Its head was cocked at the sort of angle that I don't think dogs really prefer if they are alive, but I could totally see a taxidermist thinking it was "lifelike". A trifle creeped out by this.
• The massive ant swarm that occupied a whole sidewalk square. I haven't seen a single ant in the house, which is great, but boy, they travel in packs outside. I tried to avoid stepping on any, just so you know, but I can't make any promises.
• The youth who yelled me down from across the street as I emerged from 7-11, then jogged over to me to ask for "two dollars for a fountain drink". I never carry cash, which always makes me feel guilty in these situations, even as I'm cynically calculating the minimum quantity of cash required for a drug purchase. He slapped me on the upper arm and said it was okay, and as soon as I was far enough away from him, I shamefully checked to make sure he didn't somehow lift my wallet from the front.

Now, these events might not seem earth-shattering, but there's always a couple of them on the walk, which makes each excursion its own mini there-and-back-again adventure. Sometimes I'm actually glad that the car's not in the driveway.